


According to Bram

by The_Golden_Dice



Series: Simon in Love [8]
Category: Love Simon (2018), Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, POV Bram Greenfeld, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-05-13 13:12:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19251904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Golden_Dice/pseuds/The_Golden_Dice
Summary: Bram’s point of view in relation to various parts of the Simon in Love series.





	1. Heavy Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bram’s pov in relation to events in Heavy Hearts.

I’m an idiot. 

Would I go so far as to say I’m an epic failure? 

Probably.

I haul myself out of bed and make my way across my stuffy bedroom. I open the window, hoping for a breath of fresh air to drift in and refresh me. There is no breeze outside. My skin is clammy, and the last thing I want to do is get back under the covers. I stare outside at nothing in particular. 

There are no circumstances that would make it worth my while to go downstairs for a glass of water. My dad would kill me if he heard. He’d think I was going back to Simon.

Simon, who is down there alone.

Simon, who is not responding to my texts.

If I find out later that he’s actually asleep right now, I’ll be hugely surprised. He always lies awake listening to music when something bad has happened. I doubt he’s got a playlist for this scenario though. 

What a mess. 

I pull the window shut and return to bed, pushing the duvet off to the side before I lie down. I close my eyes. I start to pretend Simon is here with me, but it’s too difficult. I can’t think of him without seeing the hurt I caused him when I said he had to go home. It was as though he couldn’t quite believe what I was saying. 

How could I have argued though? How could I have fought my dad’s decision when this is all my fault? I’m the one who snuck downstairs. Broke the rules. And to top it all off - I let Simon be seen, by my dad, in one of the most vulnerable situations possible. Simon would be well within his rights to break up with me. 

I stuff some of my pillow into my mouth and bite down, hard. I want to yell, and swear, and punch things. I won’t though. I never would - even in the private solitude of my bedroom. Tears come, pouring down my face with no sign of stopping. I’m trapped. My hands are tied. I can’t beg my dad to let Simon stay. I don’t deserve that. I can’t leave with Simon either. I don’t know if my dad would ever speak to me again. 

An image of my dad’s expression when he opened the door to his office crashes into my mind. He looked... disgusted. I’ve seen that look before, but never directed at me. He’s only ever been proud of me. Until now. I have to fix this. 

I try my very best to harden my resolve. 

My pillow is soaked. I turn it over and wipe away what I hope will be the last of the tears. 

I will fix this. 

Simon will go home - he’ll understand why it has to be this way. I’ll sort things with my dad, and then I’ll leave too. 

It will all work out okay.

It has to.


	2. Halloween Revisited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bram’s pov of the events in Halloween Revisited.

I hear Garrett’s joke, and I know exactly what Simon has done. A tiny shiver of excitement runs through me. I can’t say I haven’t imagined this. I’ve imagined it more than once. A week of Simon being evasive regarding his costume has worked - I was genuinely under the impression that he couldn’t be bothered thinking of what to wear. I was expecting something similar to his minimal effort costume from last year, which was pretty good to be fair. Well, apart from that wig. 

But no. 

He’s dressed up specifically for me. The anticipation is real but I stay rooted in place a minute longer, enjoying the feeling of expectation. 

Time to turn around.

He’s got eyeliner on. 

Simon has this discolouration under his eyes that sort of makes him look perpetually tired, but in a pretty way. When he wears eye makeup, everything is amplified. I love it more because I hardly ever get to see it. I almost don’t want to look at the rest of his costume. I could stare into his eyes indefinitely - as inconvenient as that would be. 

Okay, I need to see the rest. I take it all in, in one swift glance. He looks good. No, he looks great. His costume is accurate of course. It’s Simon - he cares about stuff like that. His hair is the best part. It’s half pulled back, but bits have started to come loose around his face. I want to get my hands in it. 

I know he’s feeling nervous, I can just tell. As much as he loves to act flamboyant when he gets on a stage, Simon can be really shy. Garrett leaves, and Simon moves closer. I want to kiss him. There’s a few other things I’d also like to do to him. I have to shut those thoughts down. Garrett would be super pissed off if I broke his mom’s rule. Then again - I’ve seen Garrett ignore it himself in the past, so maybe...

~

I could kill Nick effing Eisner. I get it, he’s having relationship problems. It sucks, but right now I honestly don’t care. 

I know it’s the alcohol making me feel this way. That, and the fact that Simon has literally retreated so far away from me that I can’t even reach him. The stuff with my dad really messed me up, but it’s obviously having a lasting effect on him too. 

He looks exhausted, grabbing for his T-shirt and underwear. I make myself busy as he puts them back on. When I turn to face him, I see that he’s snuggled up against the pillows and is clearly drowsy. I lie down next to him and press his nose lightly with my index finger - it always makes him smile. Even when he’s sad, he’s adorable. I say so and he laughs. That’s the sound I want to hear. He’s been so great looking after me these past weeks.

I’m gonna look after him too.


End file.
